Interviews

Posts: 7626 Join date: 2010-04-22 Age: 45 Location: Wales

I was interviewing people yesterday with this bird from the EU backed welsh scheme. Anyway, this div from bolton walks in, 4 day stubble, BO and scruffy clothes, 5 minutes late and it went something like this;

him; allright mate
me; Hello, Im david, this is ellie, how are you today
him; sound

I then spent time detailing the job description and asking hime some personal questions.

me; did you take the time to have a look at our website prior to this interview
him; yeah, some of the stuffs allright
me; smiling, only some of it?
him; no I mean its all pretty sound

cue crazy frog ringtone

him; thats my phone
me; ok do you think you should answer it?
him; allright then

he then proceeds to have a 30 second conversation with some other waster.

me; Its good to talk isnt it
him; what

he then starts to look at his watch

me; ahh, the markets are closing in 15 minutes, did you want to check your positions before the non farm payrolls
him; carew markets sunday aint it?, the pigs are outside with my son
me, sorry
him; they arrested him for smoking weed and they need to speak to me but cos ive got this interview theyre holding him outside till ive finished.
me; they must be very understanding
him; are they fuck, he's got toureetes and is always getting in the shit for abusing them.
me; does it run in the family?
him; eh

couldnt carry on for laughing after this, so we fucked him off !! People like this shouldnt be given dole and if it wasnt for the comedic value should be culled as the planets overpopulated and he'll never really contribute.

Guest

Lol. I'm surprised how restrained you were. How old was this fella then? He made the effort to travel from Bolton at least!

Subject: Re: Interviews Tue May 10, 2011 10:24 pm

Shouldve filmed that, quality Laughing

I hate interviews. My Uni one was a nightmare, the admissions tutor started asking me questions on stuff I hadnt done for a year and I was bricking it Shocked

Got t'offer in the end though

Guest

The Scarlet Pimpernel wrote:

Shouldve filmed that, quality Laughing

I hate interviews. My Uni one was a nightmare, the admissions tutor started asking me questions on stuff I hadnt done for a year and I was bricking it Shocked

Got t'offer in the end though

I know some lads, who are really intelligent, but they'll struggle so badly to get jobs. They don't have social competencies. They're extremely hard working and independent lads, but so very shy. They have some kind of autistic condition that makes interacting in unfamiliar environments, with new people, and with an audience present impossible. I think there should be some alternative to an interview if you have big problems with them. I don't really know what it should be and I don't know how it could be made fair, but it does seem that some people will be disporportionately affected by the requirement of interviews in order to get a job.

Subject: Re: Interviews Tue May 10, 2011 10:39 pm

L_12 wrote:

The Scarlet Pimpernel wrote:

Shouldve filmed that, quality Laughing

I hate interviews. My Uni one was a nightmare, the admissions tutor started asking me questions on stuff I hadnt done for a year and I was bricking it Shocked

Got t'offer in the end though

I know some lads, who are really intelligent, but they'll struggle so badly to get jobs. They don't have social competencies. They're extremely hard working and independent lads, but so very shy. They have some kind of autistic condition that makes interacting in unfamiliar environments, with new people, and with an audience present impossible. I think there should be some alternative to an interview if you have big problems with them. I don't really know what it should be and I don't know how it could be made fair, but it does seem that some people will be disporportionately affected by the requirement of interviews in order to get a job.

I'm of the same opinion, but with exams as well - despise the bastards, have become a proper bottler in the last couple of years. THe knowledge just flies out of my head.

Posts: 7626 Join date: 2010-04-22 Age: 45 Location: Wales

L_12 wrote:

The Scarlet Pimpernel wrote:

Shouldve filmed that, quality Laughing

I hate interviews. My Uni one was a nightmare, the admissions tutor started asking me questions on stuff I hadnt done for a year and I was bricking it Shocked

Got t'offer in the end though

I know some lads, who are really intelligent, but they'll struggle so badly to get jobs. They don't have social competencies. They're extremely hard working and independent lads, but so very shy. They have some kind of autistic condition that makes interacting in unfamiliar environments, with new people, and with an audience present impossible. I think there should be some alternative to an interview if you have big problems with them. I don't really know what it should be and I don't know how it could be made fair, but it does seem that some people will be disporportionately affected by the requirement of interviews in order to get a job.

there is, its called the dole!! Seriously guys, you need to work on self suggestion until it becomes automatic and believe in yourselves. Yes, it can be awkward, but its not as awkward as having no food in the cupboards. Remember my old man telling me when he started selling door to door in the 70s. Its a shite job and you get all the insults etc, but before that hed done 20 odd years down the pit and crawled down tunnels a mile underground on his belly with practically no ventilation and breathing in all the dust. Compared to that the odd door being slammed in your face wasnt an issue. Break it down and ask yourself exactly what it is that youre nervous about and work out a way to combat that.

Posts: 3623 Join date: 2010-07-19 Age: 41

steelaway wrote:

L_12 wrote:

The Scarlet Pimpernel wrote:

Shouldve filmed that, quality Laughing

I hate interviews. My Uni one was a nightmare, the admissions tutor started asking me questions on stuff I hadnt done for a year and I was bricking it Shocked

Got t'offer in the end though

I know some lads, who are really intelligent, but they'll struggle so badly to get jobs. They don't have social competencies. They're extremely hard working and independent lads, but so very shy. They have some kind of autistic condition that makes interacting in unfamiliar environments, with new people, and with an audience present impossible. I think there should be some alternative to an interview if you have big problems with them. I don't really know what it should be and I don't know how it could be made fair, but it does seem that some people will be disporportionately affected by the requirement of interviews in order to get a job.

there is, its called the dole!! Seriously guys, you need to work on self suggestion until it becomes automatic and believe in yourselves. Yes, it can be awkward, but its not as awkward as having no food in the cupboards. Remember my old man telling me when he started selling door to door in the 70s. Its a shite job and you get all the insults etc, but before that hed done 20 odd years down the pit and crawled down tunnels a mile underground on his belly with practically no ventilation and breathing in all the dust. Compared to that the odd door being slammed in your face wasnt an issue. Break it down and ask yourself exactly what it is that youre nervous about and work out a way to combat that.

Fuckin' ell, Dr. Melfi in da house!

Subject: Re: Interviews Tue May 10, 2011 11:00 pm

steelaway wrote:

L_12 wrote:

The Scarlet Pimpernel wrote:

Shouldve filmed that, quality Laughing

I hate interviews. My Uni one was a nightmare, the admissions tutor started asking me questions on stuff I hadnt done for a year and I was bricking it Shocked

Got t'offer in the end though

I know some lads, who are really intelligent, but they'll struggle so badly to get jobs. They don't have social competencies. They're extremely hard working and independent lads, but so very shy. They have some kind of autistic condition that makes interacting in unfamiliar environments, with new people, and with an audience present impossible. I think there should be some alternative to an interview if you have big problems with them. I don't really know what it should be and I don't know how it could be made fair, but it does seem that some people will be disporportionately affected by the requirement of interviews in order to get a job.

there is, its called the dole!! Seriously guys, you need to work on self suggestion until it becomes automatic and believe in yourselves. Yes, it can be awkward, but its not as awkward as having no food in the cupboards. Remember my old man telling me when he started selling door to door in the 70s. Its a shite job and you get all the insults etc, but before that hed done 20 odd years down the pit and crawled down tunnels a mile underground on his belly with practically no ventilation and breathing in all the dust. Compared to that the odd door being slammed in your face wasnt an issue. Break it down and ask yourself exactly what it is that youre nervous about and work out a way to combat that.

The nerves were due to the aforementioned half forgotten knowledge that was required and I wasnt expecting it to be Very Happy

I got the gig anyway, so no worries

Posts: 7626 Join date: 2010-04-22 Age: 45 Location: Wales

alls good then its easy to forget when you get nervous. i can rehearse masonic speeches so im fucking word perfect and you end up sitting there behind your pedestal reciting in your head then all of a sudden boom, you lose a sentence, then the panic sets in and the whole fucking paragraphs gone. In an interview sitation rather than bumbling your way through, its far better to excuse yourself and admit to being nervous. this will diffuse the situation, massage the interviewers power ego and allow you to then mentally compose yourself.

Posts: 3623 Join date: 2010-07-19 Age: 41

steelaway wrote:

In an interview sitation rather than bumbling your way through, its far better to excuse yourself and admit to being nervous. this will diffuse the situation, massage the interviewers power ego and allow you to then mentally compose yourself.

Great advice.

Shocked

...and...

Ahhh, L22 has used his admin powers to log in as you...got it.

Posts: 7626 Join date: 2010-04-22 Age: 45 Location: Wales

Wheaty wrote:

steelaway wrote:

In an interview sitation rather than bumbling your way through, its far better to excuse yourself and admit to being nervous. this will diffuse the situation, massage the interviewers power ego and allow you to then mentally compose yourself.

Great advice.

Shocked

...and...

Ahhh, L22 has used his admin powers to log in as you...got it.

you saying i dont always give great advice willis??? im think of starting an ask steely thread so i can impart my advice to 13th man members who need mental shelter.

Posts: 2667 Join date: 2010-05-24

steelaway wrote:

alls good then its easy to forget when you get nervous. i can rehearse masonic speeches so im fucking word perfect and you end up sitting there behind your pedestal reciting in your head then all of a sudden boom, you lose a sentence, then the panic sets in and the whole fucking paragraphs gone. In an interview sitation rather than bumbling your way through, its far better to excuse yourself and admit to being nervous. this will diffuse the situation, massage the interviewers power ego and allow you to then mentally compose yourself.

Bet you've done that a few times. You and your euphemisms Steels! Shocked

Posts: 7626 Join date: 2010-04-22 Age: 45 Location: Wales

Jon Bon Jovi wrote:

steelaway wrote:

alls good then its easy to forget when you get nervous. i can rehearse masonic speeches so im fucking word perfect and you end up sitting there behind your pedestal reciting in your head then all of a sudden boom, you lose a sentence, then the panic sets in and the whole fucking paragraphs gone. In an interview sitation rather than bumbling your way through, its far better to excuse yourself and admit to being nervous. this will diffuse the situation, massage the interviewers power ego and allow you to then mentally compose yourself.

Bet you've done that a few times. You and your euphemisms Steels! Shocked

very true, if its a bird interviewing you, dont forget to pay her compliments guys, works every time. I suggest something along the lines of 'you smell nice' !!

Posts: 7840 Join date: 2010-04-22 Location: Purgatory

hahaha kinell some cracking advice here.

Interviewer: So why should we give you the job as Brain Surgeon?
Interviewee: Because....because........Oh I'm sorry I don't know what to say and please excuse my hands shaking, I'm just nervous. Oh I know, you smell lovely, like a bacon sarnie.
Interviewer: Oh thats ok, do I really (blushes) oh my I never noticed how hunky you are. You've got the job as long as I can take you in my mouth now shakey.

The thing to remember about interviews is that the person doing the interview really wants you to do well and will do everything to help you do well, in short they are on your side. They aren't trying to trick you or anything, they just want to find the right person and if thats you then their life just became easier.

I interviewed a fella once for a senior management position and he passed the technical aspect of the interview with flying colours. Whern interviewing I have a questionaire I fill in and it helps me assess the candidates competency levels, then I like to sit back and have a chat over a cup of tea, get a feel for their personality to see if they'll fit in. Anyway as I say this fella did well in the first part and looked the part too so I then go into my relaxed chat mode and we chat about footie, all sorts and he relaxes. Just as I'm thinking he'll do for me he has relaxed so much he comes out with

Randall: I don't know if I should say this but my wife and I communicate with the spirits
Me: Oh really? Thats interesting
Randall: Yeah, our big old house by sefton park has spirits living in it
Me: And you talk to them?
Randall: Yeah, we both do
Me: That must be fascinating

Needless to say he didn't get the job as my lads would have ripped the piss out of him mercilessly. So be relaxed going into your interviews but not too relaxed that you admit to going on the internet and chatting shite to other nerds and weirdos or anything like that. It's ok to be nervous just act like you're not until you cease to be nervous, it'll pass aftter a few minutes. As for exams and academia and the like I wouldn't worry too much about it, the key attributes to being successful are far more than being good at rational thinking which isn't a requirement. It's more important what you do once you get into industry and working hard then is far more important imo.

_________________
The whole problem with the world is that fools and fanatics are always so sure of themselves, and wiser people are full of doubts

Subject: Re: Interviews Wed May 11, 2011 11:05 am

If you know you have the technical attributes required for the role, go in there with the attitude that you already have it in the bag.

Be supremely confident knowing there will be a load of candidates that are worse than you, but don't be arrogant.

It's worked for me every single time.

And don't use senseless manager speak. Talk in real terms, people appreciate the honesty more.

_________________
"You won’t like me when I’m angry. Becase I always back up my rage with facts and documented sources." – The Credible Hulk